A Year of Yes
Saturday I woke to a call from a friend. “How was Florence?” she asked. “What is this #yearofyes all about?” I’m a bon vivant. An epicurean. A hedonist at times. So I understood the question. “Heaven help me.” she said. “I don’t know if I am ready for you to #followthefun.” I had already been doing what I wanted most of my life. “It’s because of the voices.” I said. “I hear voices.” There is my intuition. Her voice is 1st. It’s loud and clear. I trust her words and wisdom. But sometimes she’s crowded out by The Shoulds. The Shoulds tell me what I should be doing. Sometimes The Should is a judgment on myself. Sometimes The Should is the voice of my mother. “Good girls don’t do that Toma.” Or it’s the voice of a friend with a particularly grating opinion. But often it’s the voice of a collective society that says “This is what is expected of you. This is how you should live your life to conform to the standard.” Conformity protects us. Don’t call too much attention to yourself. Don’t shine too bright. Stand in line. Behave. Part of the Magic of Me is I know what I want but I’m not always brave enough to do it. So I decided to follow it - the voice that says Yes. She is Me in the truest sense. But in order to hear her I need to silence #theothers. Here’s what I’ve learned. You can’t ignore them. When you ignore them they get louder. So for me choosing a year of yes means that I consciously choose to listen to The Shoulds. I thank them for their unsolicited advice and tell them what I’ve decided to do. It’s a conversation. It’s a decision made. There is no arguing- just acknowledgment - and by acknowledging them before the yes it silences them. It acknowledges that they are trying to protect me- because ultimately The Shoulds are there to protect you. But when you say yes -you step into the spotlight as the star or your own life- the star or your own destiny. You can do anything. You’re in the drivers seat. You can go anywhere. So I went to Florence. My friend was busy with work most the time- so I sat in cafes with my notebook. I wandered the streets alone. I listened to myself. And when he said “I’m going to Bologna tomorrow do you want to come?” I said yes.
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